SMA Writers' Conference and Dead Bodies

The San Miguel Writers’ Conference is another reason why I love this city.  My husband and I attended in person in February of 2020, purchasing the Readers’ Package since neither of us is a writer, although I make a pretense of it from time to time in this blog.  In 2021, we attended virtually.  The keynote addresses both years were wonderful, and this year, there have been many new online programs and workshops which are continuing throughout the year.  My favorite program, and the first writing workshop I have ever taken, is called Silent Write.  It takes place once per month and is a non-critique session designed to get people to let loose creatively and just write.  The moderator gives the group a prompt and we have 5 minutes to write something.  For the second and third prompts, we have 10 minutes to write followed by a 10-minute period where we can clean up the earlier stories or write something new. Then we can share our stories if we wish.  It is great fun, and I’m always astonished at what pops into my head as a result of the prompt.  Here is an example:

10 minute prompt: the ring slipped off her finger and fell down the drain

My story:

Disposing of bodies isn’t easy.  I usually put them in a bathtub and perform some, well, let’s just call it surgery.  I always keep something as proof that the job has been done, and I was planning to keep her ring.  To my horror, it slipped off her finger and fell down the drain.  Her husband, the one who ordered the hit, wanted it back since it was sizable and probably cost a small fortune.  I guess he was going to hock it after a suitable mourning period.  Oh crap.  It’s always something.

The double thick plastic bags were filled now and the surgical saw was back in its case, so I contemplated how to get the ring back.  There were no tools in this cheap motel, of course, so I went out to my car to get my emergency kit.  The screwdriver wasn’t any use, but the pocket knife let me pry the metal rim up from the drain.  I tried to reach down inside but my fingers were too thick, so I had to come up with another method.  Duct tape, of course.  I put a small wad on the end of the screwdriver and poked around in the drain.  I could hear the ring, but I just couldn’t get it to stick.  Maybe some wire would work better.  I had a piece in the kit, so I fashioned a hook and started probing again.  Finally, I managed to snag it.

Now for the bleach all over the tub.  Carry the heavy bags out to the trunk and then retrieve my emergency kit and saw.  Take yet another look around the room to make sure absolutely nothing is left behind.  

Driving away in my car with stolen plates, I peel off my rubber gloves and tear off my fake beard, remove my baseball cap with the long hair attached, and sigh with relief.  No, it was more than relief.  There was a fair bit of pride in that sigh.  Another job well done.

The moderator commented that I seemed to know a lot about the subject.  “Research”, I replied.

For information about ongoing online programs and workshops, go the San Miguel Literary Sala, the sponsor of the conference.  https://sanmiguelliterarysala.org/  Also, you can get on their mailing list to be informed about the next conference.